Clients arrive for counselling or coaching with their attention on what is distressing, problematic, not working in their lives. Without underestimating the impact of these problems on the client’s experience, skilful facilitation can promote them moving into learning and discovery and can unearth unrecognised strengths and creativity, leading to appropriate solutions.
I choose to direct my attention and my clients’ attention to what works. In looking at challenges and problems, I recognise that the areas of life we consider problematic are also rich resources of learning, discovery, and strengths. Once identified, these provide fuel for desired change.
Try this experiment for yourself
The purpose is to guide your focus away from what you don’t want, and in a gentle and playful way pay attention to what you would prefer to be happening instead.
Think of a problem or issue or situation that causes you difficulty. Imagine that after you have gone to sleep tonight that problem is resolved. You don’t need to know how. Just allow yourself to imagine life without it.
- Visualize or sense waking up tomorrow when that aspect of your life has changed.
- How would you begin to recognize this change?
- What would be different in your life?
- How would you know?
- What would other people notice about you?
This scenario gives you a felt experience of how you would be thinking and behaving differently when you have the change you want. Then it is easier to identify some things you can begin to do now to move in that direction. As you take small manageable steps and discover new ways of thinking and looking at things, change begins to happen.
Please feel free to share your experience of this exercise using the comments box below.